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How the “Should”s Turned to “Get to”s for Me

Everyone has a lot of “should”s in their lives. The “should”s can be stressors when they build up. I know for myself, before I started my run streak – and maybe the first week or two of it – running was a should for me. I knew it was good for me, I knew I would be happy I did it, but instead of being something I thought of as “I want to run” or “I get to run”, it was “I should run”. Which also made it so on a day off work when I didn’t want to move from my couch – I would keep telling myself I should, and then not go run.

Many people see exercising, running, being healthy, as a should. And even when it is something enjoyable – that can be a stressor, and it can drag you down. Something that this streak did for me, was switch the terminology. I’m not sure why or how the streak seemed to do this for me, but it did. Now I see every run as something I get to do. Because I know I am making the choice – every day to get up, run, and continue my streak. I’m sure anyone would say I’ve done enough. A week was an accomplishment. A month was an accomplishment. 50 days, 100 days, 150 days, all accomplishments (hit 200 soon! 7 more days). All things that if I said “Yeah I did a run streak for that long” would still be impressive in it’s own right. That’s not why I’m doing it. I continue because it makes my day better. I do it because it makes me happier. It makes my life better and I recognize that. I recognize that I feel better each and every day, because I get my run in, and I want to do it, and I want to keep doing it.

I still have plenty of “should”s. I should meal prep. I should clean and organize more. I should eat healthier. And for a lot of those – I’m trying. And I’m sure I could switch the mentality from “I should” to “I get to”, but for me, running being something I’m excited about every day happened naturally, not by me trying to make it that. So we’ll see if it helps more things switch – who knows – endorphins do a lot! For now, I’m just grateful that I made the choice to start running every day and to start this streak.

Last week I finished a run and texted a friend “I realized this morning that starting my run streak was the absolute best decision I have ever made and the best think I could have done for myself”. That happened to be after a 10.25 mile run, but I stand by it. It is the best thing I have done for myself. It makes me a happier person. And it lets me run every day – even if I’m tired and think I might just go out for a mile, I still get my run in. Plus if I’m feeling it – I can go as far as I want.

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Day 193

I had a rough start this morning. Yesterday I had a long work day and was working over an hour past when I like going to bed. Suffice to say – this morning, my alarm went off and I was not up for it. Dutifully, I got up, put my glasses on, went into the bathroom, turned the light on and NOPE. Flipped that switch back off and knew I was not ready. I knew I wanted to get my run in. I just needed a little more sleep. Set my alarm for an hour later, went back to bed. Knew I would still be able to get my run in and make it to work on time but was absolutely sure it would be a one mile day.

I’ve actually always been a really bad sleeper. I struggle to fall asleep, I struggle to stay asleep, and once I wake up, I struggle to fall back asleep. I’ve been getting better at falling asleep and going back to sleep in the middle of the night – maybe the run streak helps with that, I don’t know. But I’m still horrible at going back to sleep once I’ve woken up in the morning. So this morning, I went back to bed, but didn’t actually fall back asleep. I rested. And I slowly woke up so a few minutes before my next alarm I was able to get up, put my contacts in and get out for my run.

As I was getting ready for my day, I read a post from a woman who was struggling. Her daughter, Leah, had been born at 22 weeks, lived 2 hours and passed on this day, 3 years ago. She wanted to run 3 miles to honor Leah but wasn’t sure she would have it in her to make it. She was asking anyone willing to run #milesforleah #runningforleah. Ideally 3 either miles or kilometers.

I had been planning on 1 mile, but in keeping with my latest streak of running more than planned (not sure how long I can keep that one going!) I set out for my run, knowing I needed at least 1, but hopeful to do 3. And as I was going, I felt good, legs a bit tired, me a bit tired, but overall good. So I increased again, and finished with a beautiful 5.25 that left me feeling wonderful and ready for my day! I love getting my daily run in!

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Day 181

For day 181, I had a plan with a friend who lives just across the border in NH. She kindly did the research and found a trail system for us to try that was supposed to have over 9 miles of trails. Little did we know that it would create another fun run map of chaos!

When we started, we found that the main loop was between 2 and 3 miles. We decided to spend some time just exploring and anytime we hit a fork in the path, we just randomly selected a route. We enjoyed it and randomly found spots we knew we had been before but also found spots we either hadn’t seen yet or weren’t sure about.

Since neither of us runs trails often, we started considering heading back to the car with a goal of ending at 6 miles. However, we guessed wrong about where we were and had some adventures trying to get back. at first we tried to use my watch’s feature of where we had been, but we didn’t realize that we had made another loop that looked super similar to where we started and managed to get farther from our cars instead of closer!

After that we pulled out Garmin’s live track feature and used that to help us figure out which direction to go in. Fortunately we were both in a good mood about all of it and really enjoyed getting to catch up and chat as we ran!

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Day 40

Day 40 is quite possibly the slowest mile I have ever run, and considering that I’m not a fast runner, that’s saying something. But I had some help making it that way. I was in another state for a half marathon the next day, and my twin 7 year old nieces wanted to run with me. For those of you that have ready Day 159 – yes, this is the story I said I would go back to.

My flight got in mid afternoon and gave me just enough time to head over to the expo to meet my mom, my sister, and nieces there. My nieces LOVED the expo and made it clear they wanted to go to plenty more! I think it helped that everyone gave them candy and my sister prepped them to keep their eyes out for free swag.

When we got back to our vacation house, I said I still needed to get my mile in for the day, and the twins insisted they wanted to run with. I knew this meant I would be staying close to the house and it would be a slow run through parking lots.

We started out, and I had one twin sprinting with the other understanding the concept of go easy to go farther. They also wanted to hold hands as we ran – something I’m not quite used to doing. As we ran, we came across the dog park and the girls wanted to play there. So I told them I would stay close and within sight but that I would keep running nearby. They let me get about 40 feet away and then “wait wait, we want to keep running”. I ran back, got them, we kept going, they took walk breaks as needed and I just jogged at an easy pace next to them. Then we got near the playground – where of course playing was necessary. I got one loop around the playground in when both were playing, then E wanted to come run with me again, so we looped another time or two before A started yelling that she climbed up something but needed help getting back down, so we went in, got her down and she decided she wanted to join running again.

We kept going, twins run/walking, me jogging the whole time as I count my streak as at least a full mile running per day. Usually if I walk, with the exception of day 159, I typically pause or stop my watch. And we slowly made it a mile. The girls were so relieved and recognized that running can be hard when we finished, but they were so proud of their mile.

When we got back inside, I not only told my sister to check her strava (partially for the mile time of 15:38, but also for the run map you can see below), I also texted a friend to create a new game. I called it ” guess the reason for the crazy run map”. We had fun with that game and it was a great run!

And I did learn the next day that E really took something away from the run. My sister and I finished running the half and we were back at the van getting some more layers on, and E, standing in the van, held her arms out to jump into mine and have me carry her and I said ” I can pick you up in a hug, but I can’t hold you off the ground for long”. E gave me her perfected pout, and I said to her, “do you remember the mile that you ran with me yesterday?”. E responded “well I really only ran half”. I said “well I just ran that mile 13 times”. If I had known in advance the expression I was going to get in response – I would have had a camera ready. The shock, awe, and recognition of the effort that my sister and I just made all showed on her face. It was absolutely incredible.

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Day 192

Some days you just feel better than others. Some days how you feel changes as you go. I’ve now had 3 days in a row of running more than I planned.

Day 190, I started with the game plan of 1 mile. I was tired, my legs felt heavy, I just wanted to knock out my 1 mile and get done with my day. I got started and just started feeling better. My legs started feeling better, and my heart wanted more miles. I kept going and wound up rounding off at 4 miles for the day wishing I had time for more but was already risking making myself late for work.

That night I reached out to a friend that lives 4.5 miles from me and is trying to get back into running to see if he was up for a mile in the morning which would have given me a total of 10 running miles if we ran together. It also would have given me some breaks in the middle of running to make it a little easier. When he didn’t answer, I ended up deciding to run a pretty path around a pond that would give me an 8 mile loop. So for 191 I went out with my 8 mile plan, and yet again, feeling good, found myself adding in sections so I ran 10 miles straight. This left me absolutely sure that 192 was going to be a 1 mile day.

So here we are, today on day 192. I got dressed and ready to run, and as I was getting ready, I realized I wanted more than 1 mile. I also knew I needed a rest day and couldn’t do too much as I didn’t have a ton of time before needing to get ready for work. I started with the idea of 2 miles but remembered that yesterday when I added in a section of 2 mile route, it had a section that was blocked off on the bike path and I would have to run more roads, so rather than doing that, I decided to do my 3 mile route. On my way back, my body wanted to turn onto another section that would have given me a couple more miles, but I recognized it would make me late for work and it wouldn’t be the best for my legs as they do need a bit of a rest day, so I stuck with my 3 miles. I did find that I had to make a couple stops for pictures though. It was absolutely gorgeous out!

Some days you just need to pause your garmin to take some pictures!

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Day 159

One of my favorite days of my run streak was so loved because I got to run with some of my favorite people.  I actually ended up doing 4 separate runs that day, but it was worth it!

I think the story really starts the day before.  I had been considering signing up for a 5k in my home town that evening as I was visiting my parents, but ended up deciding against it.  I didn’t feel bad missing it as I didn’t know anyone planning to run it and I ran 7.5 miles with my High School XC Coach that morning.  In the afternoon, my mom asked if I was going and when I replied that I had no one to sign up with me, my 7 year old neice, A, immediately goes “I’ll sign up with you!”  I asked if she thought she could run a 5k or 3.1 miles and she retorted that she had already done one with me so of course.

At dinner that night, we were out at a local restaurant and there was a torrential downpour going on outside.  My mom turned to me and said “Isn’t that race happening now?”.  When we realized it was, I asked A if she still would have run if we signed up for that race.  A looks at me and asks if I would have run.  After I say yes – with the biggest smile on her face, knowing she had the right answer – A said “Yes!”  Mom and I then talk about the fact that I ran with coach that day and would be again in the morning and A requested to run with us. I told her that she couldn’t run with us but that I would take her out for a separate run after.

Run 1:  6 miles
Coach came over in the morning and before we set out on our run, A put in another request to run with us.  While she didn’t like being told “no, we’re going to fast and far for you”, she -as excited to get to go running when Coach and I got back.  A’s sisters  – M and E also then put in requests for their runs.
Coach and I ran the back roads near my parents house and saw lots of beautiful fields, flowers, trees and houses. She pushed my pace and we had a great time catching up.
We got back to the house and as I tried to catch my breath and grab some water – A was ready to pull me out the door!

Run 2: 1.02 miles
As A and I set out, I asked if she had a goal for our run.  She told me she wanted to run 3 miles.  Knowing that our last “run” involved lots of walking, detours, and a playground, I let us get started and asked again. Our goal lowered to 1 mile.  We didn’t have a walk break until about a quarter mile.  Then we alternately ran/walked based on how A felt.  Overall – we did more running than walking!  I was very impressed, especially considering our last run together.  We had a great time, but as soon as we got back to the house – I was pulled back out the door!

Run 3: 1.42 miles
E – A’s twin sister –  and I set out on our run.  As we started, I asked E if we had a goal.  She told me she wanted to run 5 miles.  When I let her know that was a lot and how her sister had switched goals, she brought her goal down to 3.  The best I could get to budge below 3 was letting her know that whatever we did out- we would have to do back and so I would keep checking in on if she wanted to turn around.
E was a little less interested in running this day and a bit more interested in quality time.  So we ran about .2-.3, then walked quite a bit.  I’m pretty sure in total we ran less than half a mile.  But that quality time was very important to E that day so it made for a wonderful experience.  As we were out, it started drizzling, then lightly raining.  E asked what we would do if it started thundering and lightening and I said we would call daddy to come pick us up.  Satisfied with this, she still didn’t want to turn around until we hit about 1.8-1.9 miles.  
As we were about half way back we got a call offering us a ride back.  Up until this point, my brave, strong niece has seemed totally fine with the rain.  When I told her we were offered a ride (with about .4 miles to get back) she immediately says yes.  So about a minute later we get picked up, stopping the watch at 1.42.

Run 4: .62
M is waiting by the door ready to go as we come back in the rain.  Her dad said she can’t go in the rain and we can wait for it to clear.  While I’m drenched between sweat from my first run and the rain E and I made our way through, I asked M if we could put off our run til the next day.  With the energy only a 5 year old has – I’m given an immediate no. So after about an hour when the rain clears down to a sprinkle, M and I set off on what I can only describe as our sprint/walk.  I would say she solidly sprinted half of it.  While she had the goal of going farther than her sisters, at that point my legs just weren’t up for it, and with her being 2 years younger, I didn’t want to be pushing her too much. So we set the goal of turning around at a porch we saw up ahead, and once we turned, she proudly sprint/walked back to the house from there.

I really need to remember to take M when I need to do speed work!  That young lady is fast!

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Day 176 – Reflecting on How the Streak Started

Today is day 176 of my run streak.  The last few days had me thinking a bit about how I got here and what got me started on this path, and it made me want to take some time to sit and reflect.  It also made me want to have somewhere to chronicle my journey.   More than anything, me writing here is a way for me to be able to look back and see things I want to remember, and for the less fun things… well they’re just pieces to the timeline.

On February 3, 2019, I had the day off, I had no major plans.  I had every intention to go for a run, and just didn’t get off my couch.  It wasn’t the first time. I figured it wouldn’t be the last.  But I also wanted to find a way to not have that happen again.  I knew of many runners that maintained run-streaks for years but never considered it for myself.  Around that time, I also realized that a friend of mine had just completed an 80ish day streak – stopping when a cold was bad enough to warrant a rest day.  I decided it would be worth trying, and to be completely honest – I did not expect to make it a week.  I started February 4th.

The first week I did surprise myself a bit with the fact that I was somehow managing to succeed.  Then week two and three came and tried to make me question if this really was the right thing for my body.  I was feeling the lack of rest days in my legs quite a bit and I had dropped down to 1-2 mile days for those two weeks.  Week four gave my legs energy back and as I started working more, I became sure that this was the right thing for me.  Normally when I start working doubles at work I start picking sleep over my runs.  So at the times when I would usually stop running for weeks or even a month, I was still maintaining at least a mile a day. While just knowing I was doing it felt good, I also know that the endorphins really helped me through the stressful time I was dealing with being short staffed at work.

As the February heading into March and I got ready for the two half marathons I had signed up for, everything was feeling great.  No issues with the Biltmore Half in Asheville, NC in mid March.  I actually would really love to do that again, and not just that – I would love to do the the Backyard to Vineyard Challenge.  That involves running the half on Saturday and the full on Sunday during their race weekend. 

In the last week of March, I managed to trip in the first .05 of a one mile run.  I hit my knee so hard that run involved a bit of crying and a few doctors visits after to make sure everything was ok.  I also managed to make things a little worse with ibuprofen on too empty a stomach.  For future reference, a piece of cheese is not enough to save stomach lining from ibuprofen.  I did still manage to maintain the streak and even struggle through the Wicked Half in Kansas at the end of the month.  I was amazed by two of the participants that completed the race in full costume!

I was back in Asheville in April to celebrate Passover.  One of my favorite things to do in Asheville is run the Mountain to Sea Trail.  Unfortunately…. my calves don’t always agree that running hilly trails when I don’t get to do it often is the best plan.  In April 2018, I managed to give myself a stress reaction doing too much with not enough training.  So after my calves started to feel insanely tight in April 2019, I got a little nervous. I went back down to 1-2 mile days for the most part, and just tried to get my calves to loosen up.  As I hit day 100 in mid May, I got really scared and thought I might be giving myself another stress reaction.  I was sure I would have to stop my streak and I was devastated by it.  It became part of my routine, my life, and I knew how much it helped me in my day to day stress management.  By some miracle, I managed to get in to see my PT the next day.  I went in knowing that I ran 101 days in a row and sure that this was the end, but he checked and said I would be ok to keep going.  We were able to stay on top of it and make sure that I did not give myself another stress reaction, stayed healthy, and kept running.  I also found out that my calves have been so tight my entire life that I never managed to learn to stretch them properly.  I even was still able to run my two halves scheduled for June.  And as a NRR side note: from my half in Portland, Maine – I learned that Rhubarb Hibiscus pie is the best thing I have ever eaten in my life. 

Now, reaching the end of July, I’ve had a fair amount of staffing challenges and a lot of my days are closer to a mile.  My next race isn’t until September, but since I need to make sure I stay in half shape and have a few other health/running goals I want to work towards, I want to try to keep more than just 1-2 mile days happening.  When I don’t have time or need a rest day – the 1-2 mile days are perfect for keeping my streak, but hopefully I can manage and prioritize my time in a way to keep having new running adventures and getting more enjoyable distances.  I think some of my next few entries may be going back and reflecting on a few specific days that I don’t want to lose.